Such a relief that things are going more positive with my family life. I noticed a couple times the oldest has been a tad more interactive with me lately. For example, when I just happened to step in his room last evening (to say 'hi how's it going') he showed me a few emails he got from colleges showing interest. Nice, he's proud and it was a good thing to talk about. (He's a sophomore and took a practice ACT and scored high. The schools let the results go to colleges thus he got contacted. Even so, high scores are just part of the process to get a great scholarship.)

Anyway, then my daughter was pretty open and didn't become defensive immediately when we were home together after school. The first thing she was doing was getting back to a relative on email regarding girl scout cookies. But truthfully was taking way too much time on it. Figuring out which website would show the cookie to this relative, looking up google images of these types, making an attachment of the pictures, OY! It was early (5pm or so) and I didn't hassle her except to say ONCE that this was taking more time than it should.

The next hurdle was dinner, and I knew she wouldn't want the soup and salad I was making (cream of broccoli). The typical situation in the past is she goes and makes something herself. Hard to fault that: she makes it her business to fix good meals and generally clean up after herself, but sinks time into it that she doesn't really have.

So I offered to make her something. Gave her a couple 10 minute deadlines before the offer expired. Had to give a couple ideas, and she ended up accepting the offer. Whew.

And the last positive development of the night? The 9:30 bedtime has been a knock down drag out fight far too many times. If she doesn't make it, my DD doesn't get her iPod the next day. It's been a very unhappy procedure.

She makes it go to the last second almost every time, or doesn't make it and has incredibly crafted excuses. Sometimes I hand this duty off to my husband, and guess what: he doesn't make the rule important and doesn't care very much about the results. No consistency and it hurts the principle (of managing time better and a teen getting enough sleep).

I realize the behavior is basically a struggle for independence and saved just for me and I've tried incentives such as 'you get a great backrub every minute you are in bed early!'

So another idea came to me a couple days ago: She got a new alarm clock at Christmas (the old was on it's last legs and this one has nifty temperature readings she likes and a better radio). It has 2 alarm settings, AHA! I secretly set the 2nd alarm for 9:30pm. So when it beeped WE ALL KNOW it is that time.

It worked last night. The beep was the call to bed, lights out. Very little hassle.

So the wake up alarm is now a go to bed alarm. At least for a while until I have to think up something new.