Losing. But have not given up the game! Am struggling every few days with family and work and daily things. Some times are better, some are not.

On the losing side: my arts and crafts business has had a few bright spots lately. 9 pairs of beaded gloves were sold in March at the ice rink pro shop, a framed photo of mine was sold at in the art gallery show, one of the shops I'm in expanded their inventory of my things, another is moving to a larger space and I hope they will do the same.

How many good things is that so far?

Add to that a point for continued involvement with Sierra Club. Somewhat low profile. I've been getting up to speed on fracked wells in my city (yes, wells are fracked not terribly far away, I was unpleasantly surprised to map them myself). Am putting on a River Clean Up for Earth Day in my neighborhood. Made a cool flyer for our chapter annual party. And choosing what other issues and events to get active with/

On the 'winning' side: in a nutshell - what should be a happy and supportive phase helping my high school son sort through and visit colleges, apply for scholarships, and all that goes along with that has morphed into a sad and frustrating experience. I AM GLAD to be able to be present for this, he doesn't want to put much into any of it. I am sure some of this is fear, some of it immaturity. He thinks he will breeze into college based on his grades. Unfortunately he is weak in life outside of school. This has been very difficult for me, and I'm trying not to get anxious. So my take away? DON'T CARE so much about what happens to him. NOT particularly a happy ending.

Ditto on him getting a summer job. Am trying to help, he isn't exactly motivated. We don't give him bucks. If he needs tennis shoes or shirts, yes, we buy that. The video game console is being turned off by summer vacation, as is the dish TV. Will he get out there and take charge of his life a little? I am trying not to get bent out of shape on this one too.

How many bad things is that so far?

Let me add: the big struggle with my daughter over high school gym choice, the little struggle with my daughter over repeatedly poor laundry/tidiness/chore duties, her continued choice of doing things at the last hour instead of smarter time management. Aggravation is me. Huge.

So lucky for you I have run out of time to elaborate!!

Except if we visit Portland, what do you suggest to see/do? We already plan to ride bikes around most every day that it is not raining.

Thx...

It was Dear Abby some years ago where I saw a letter asking how to make a change in daily life to achieve a dream (I think the writer wanted to get a college degree if I recall). The advice lady answered something to the effect...

"You can wake up on your 65th birthday and either be in the same situation you are now, or wake up that day and have the degree on the way (or maybe even it be done)."

I've remembered that advice for years and have now taken it to heart myself. For me, the most important thing to make a mark on this world, to leave a legacy if possible, is to help the environment. Sure having kids and little everyday things are important, but the time has come to think bigger. To put my money where my mouth is so to speak.

So I've put aside the jewelry making largely (but not completely quit yet) and am letting my local art association membership expire in June. And rechannelling all that volunteer time and festival vending, and business administration into volunteering for the Sierra Club. Of course, there are loads of environmental groups in the world, but the Sierra Club is the one I pick. It is the grandaddy, the original model. I am proud is started in in the USA because of the natural wonders in California. WHERE I LIVE!

I was an active member more than 20 years ago (BC before children) but had to divert my time and attention to family and that almighty day job. I was always mildly involved but not much more than a membership and ocassional outdoor trip for the last 10 years.

The soul searching hit me and about 2 months ago I took the steps to get back on track with what I love and think is the most important way to spend my time. I got up and went to meetings, volunteered to be an outdoor leader (got training), and help with local and national issues. Ah yes, special interests!

I'll still be here to write, but it will be much more about the environment and ways to get involved if you want.

So when I wake up next week on my 55th birthday, I will have already gotten well on the way to reaching my dream.