This roller coaster life is exhausting, stressful and I don't like it. Trying hard to even the keel, am not terribly successful lately. Perhaps writing this here will help get it all out of my system.
Sunday I had a table of artful jewelry outside my art association gallery for the a wine/jazz day (event throughout the harbor). I expected smallish crowds, usually cool months is a low period for the harbor. But it was great weather, perhaps a few more people came out because of that. I made more sales than I hoped, gross about $100 (the association keeps 40%).
A highpoint of the day: a tall outdoorsy looking lady came past and was reasonably interested in my things. I noticed right away --> She was wearing a pair of hammered starfish earrings I made about 2 years ago! So I said something and she happily explained that she just tried on one of my rings inside the gallery. She really liked it. I went back inside with her to see, and perhaps chat about the ring (how I made it, what it was made out of). There were 4 others of mine we looked at, but she just decided YES to take it. I don't want to push someone to spend their money, but seems the personal contact with the designer makes a difference.
Her beau was with her, both tall great outdoorsy types. He secretly showed me some earrings he just bought in the gallery for her as a gift, "were they also made by me?" So I looked, nope. I mentioned to him there was a hammered starfish bracelet in the gallery matching her earrings. Just for info. He ran back in, decided it was a must! Especially because it was inexpensive ($24) and that I wasn't going to do that design anymore.
Other folks noticed the wire weaves alot (one sold) and silk tie mini bags. We also made good sales in the gallery and had many visitors doing wine tastings.
Monday My daughter came down late to leave for school. Not a particularly bad thing at the time because I was not anxious nor yelling at her to get going (and I confess this was the case repeatedly a couple years ago and I have since stopped getting stressed on this point so much). She came down, had no breakfast, got her things and went out the door. We were getting a late start, I didn't want to miss my bus, I didn't want to end up driving (35 mi one way) to work.
The bad thing happened when we were a block out of the driveway. She realized she forgot an important assignment. She would get a zero. I said I would stop at the corner, she could walk back and then take the regular school bus that comes in about 25 minutes (plenty of time). She wailed and cried and said 'no'. She takes the bus home, but not in the morning and is not familiar with the routine. But I once again said I would stop at the next corner and she could do the walk/bus thing. She of course made all kinds of 'why can't you just take me back, it will only take a minute, etc etc' with lots of crying.
I really stayed calm, but not exactly warm and fuzzy. I said 'NO'. That she would live with the consequences of forgetting it. That yes it was a mistake, an accident, but perhaps she would learn not to come down at the last minute to leave. (I didn't get on her case for getting up at the last minute AND going to bed at the last minute).
This has been her style for several years. It was a train wreck in slow motion. Fortunately this is just a little fender bender in not turning in an important assignment.
But will she reflect back on this later today or tomorrow and learn to -- get things in order earlier. I don't know. That is the big hope, but I don't really think it will happen (based on the years past of her last minute behaviour). Maybe it will take many more mistakes. Maybe she will be better with planning her time after she grows up and leaves.
So I'm sad, this was a bad start to the day.
She was wearing a pair of hammered starfish earrings I made about 2 years ago! So I said something and she happily explained that she just tried on one of my rings inside the gallery. She really liked it. I went back inside with her to see, and perhaps chat about the ring (how I made it, what it was made out of). There were 4 others of mine we looked at, but she just decided YES to take it. I don't want to push someone to spend their money, but seems the personal contact with the designer makes a difference.
Her beau was with her, both tall great outdoorsy types. He secretly showed me some earrings he just bought in the gallery for her as a gift, "were they also made by me?" So I looked, nope. I mentioned to him there was a hammered starfish bracelet in the gallery matching her earrings. Just for info. He ran back in, decided it was a must! Especially because it was inexpensive ($24) and that I wasn't going to do that design anymore.
Other folks noticed the wire weaves alot (one sold) and silk tie mini bags. We also made good sales in the gallery and had many visitors doing wine tastings.
Monday My daughter came down late to leave for school. Not a particularly bad thing at the time because I was not anxious nor yelling at her to get going (and I confess this was the case repeatedly a couple years ago and I have since stopped getting stressed on this point so much). She came down, had no breakfast, got her things and went out the door. We were getting a late start, I didn't want to miss my bus, I didn't want to end up driving (35 mi one way) to work.
The bad thing happened when we were a block out of the driveway. She realized she forgot an important assignment. She would get a zero. I said I would stop at the corner, she could walk back and then take the regular school bus that comes in about 25 minutes (plenty of time). She wailed and cried and said 'no'. She takes the bus home, but not in the morning and is not familiar with the routine. But I once again said I would stop at the next corner and she could do the walk/bus thing. She of course made all kinds of 'why can't you just take me back, it will only take a minute, etc etc' with lots of crying.
I really stayed calm, but not exactly warm and fuzzy. I said 'NO'. That she would live with the consequences of forgetting it. That yes it was a mistake, an accident, but perhaps she would learn not to come down at the last minute to leave. (I didn't get on her case for getting up at the last minute AND going to bed at the last minute).
This has been her style for several years. It was a train wreck in slow motion. Fortunately this is just a little fender bender in not turning in an important assignment.
But will she reflect back on this later today or tomorrow and learn to -- get things in order earlier. I don't know. That is the big hope, but I don't really think it will happen (based on the years past of her last minute behaviour). Maybe it will take many more mistakes. Maybe she will be better with planning her time after she grows up and leaves.
So I'm sad, this was a bad start to the day.
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Happy Sunday, Sad Monday
November 4th, 2013 at 07:01 pm
November 4th, 2013 at 07:08 pm 1383592109
November 4th, 2013 at 07:25 pm 1383593121
November 4th, 2013 at 07:33 pm 1383593631
November 4th, 2013 at 07:53 pm 1383594806
November 4th, 2013 at 08:01 pm 1383595268
November 4th, 2013 at 08:27 pm 1383596826
I agree that as a parent the most important thing is to stay calm and appear uninvolved in these incidents. I hate to be the one to tell you that it goes on even when they move on to independence!
November 4th, 2013 at 08:57 pm 1383598673
My more light hearted husband will hopefully have a small talk with her, (like father like daughter). Tonight will be too raw for me to say anything I am sure. Maybe in the car on the way to Girl Scouts I can very gently ask, 'Did you learn that doing things at the last minute is not a good way to live?" and she will for sure snarl!!
November 4th, 2013 at 08:59 pm 1383598770
There's a reason why you can buy a plaque that says, "Your emergency does not change my schedule".
November 4th, 2013 at 09:15 pm 1383599740
The teenage years - fun fun fun fun fun.
November 4th, 2013 at 11:19 pm 1383607156
Teaching our kids a lesson can sometimes be painful on both ends. ((hugs))
November 5th, 2013 at 12:06 am 1383609983
November 5th, 2013 at 02:33 am 1383618800
November 5th, 2013 at 03:08 am 1383620926
While I was angry in the moment, I DID learn to plan ahead and don't expect "mom" or anyone else to cover for my lack of planning.
November 5th, 2013 at 02:42 pm 1383662574
I had a liberating moment last month when my older daughter (15) had a complaint about her uniform shirt (she wears hand-me-downs and the only one clean was an Adult Small and it was rather large, but she was so snotty about it). Guess who is now responsible for washing all of the uniform shirts for the entire family?! She probably should have learned to do laundry sooner, but better late than never.
November 5th, 2013 at 03:09 pm 1383664183