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Wouldn't have learned it any other way...

February 23rd, 2009 at 12:54 pm

But by experience.

What am I talking about? Last week my grandma died, s'ok, folks the important thing about this post is not personal.

What I want to explain is how I've learned over the past few years how to handle major hurdles of convalescence and end of life finances being her primary contact.

First and foremost, she supremely thought-through arrangements for almost all coming needs. Her choice was to have savings in a trust fund which I used to pay for assisted living, and then nursing home fees. She certainly gave myself, and an alternate person, financial power of attorney while being of sound mind.

When the trust was almost depleted I had to switch to Medicare of course. Yes, I'm sorry that happened, but she stayed with us much longer than she would have wanted.

She also had a fully paid burial policy in place with her specific wishes written in. That policy has been upheld by a mortuary and given me more relief than imagined. They met with me and took care of every last thing. Without any unexpected expense, without any decision needed by me under stress, without an inkling of pressure for 'flowers', 'service', nothing.

It's all good, and I hope some of you out there make it as easy for your family as mine has so far.

5 Responses to “Wouldn't have learned it any other way...”

  1. monkeymama Says:

    These posts are important. I am probably more pro-professional wills and trusts and all that, than most frugalites, but in my line of business (tax preparation) we see the ugly family feuds and costly probate procedures and all the family goes through when things are not put in place. Beyond any financial costs, the emotional toll on family members is really the true downside.

    I am sorry for loss, but glad you you can focus on your grief, etc. more than having to worry about financial matters.

  2. MICLASON Says:

    Sorry for your loss!
    Dad was like that...he wanted to make sure we knew what he wanted, and that we had a (gulp) plot in the cemetary big enough for all... Mom thought this sort of thing was "attracting death"... We actually had to be sneaky and arrange things without her knowledge... even to the point of having the collector come to our offices instead of home, and NOT giving the company our home phone numbers!

  3. LuxLiving Says:

    I am sorry for your loss.

    I can attest to what you are saying. My step-grandmother passed away in Dec 2008. Her personal belongings for the majority were in a trust. Her estate has already been cleared and monies disbursed, funeral paid for, and only her house remains to be sold. Quick like a bunny.

    Her brother died about a year before her and his estate was not held in trust and we are still waiting for his probate stuff to be settled out.

    My FIL's estate took way too long to be settled because he didn't have his affairs in proper order. My Hubster was the Personal Representative of the Estate and he spent the two years following the death dealing with financial details and had no time to grieve.

    A trust and plenty of pre-planning is the way to go!

  4. frugaltexan75 Says:

    I'm sorry for your loss.

    I fear the day either of my parents die. Not just for the loss, but for the fact that neither one of them have an updated will, let alone a trust of any sort or funeral plans. My dad has told me what song he'd like played at his funeral, but beyond that, nothing.

  5. Broken Arrow Says:

    Sorry for your loss, but glad that she was able to make things a lot easier, even after her passing.

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