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Home > Score: Good Things 4, Bad Things 5 and what to do in Portland?
 

Score: Good Things 4, Bad Things 5 and what to do in Portland?

March 26th, 2014 at 01:58 pm

Losing. But have not given up the game! Am struggling every few days with family and work and daily things. Some times are better, some are not.

On the losing side: my arts and crafts business has had a few bright spots lately. 9 pairs of beaded gloves were sold in March at the ice rink pro shop, a framed photo of mine was sold at in the art gallery show, one of the shops I'm in expanded their inventory of my things, another is moving to a larger space and I hope they will do the same.

How many good things is that so far?

Add to that a point for continued involvement with Sierra Club. Somewhat low profile. I've been getting up to speed on fracked wells in my city (yes, wells are fracked not terribly far away, I was unpleasantly surprised to map them myself). Am putting on a River Clean Up for Earth Day in my neighborhood. Made a cool flyer for our chapter annual party. And choosing what other issues and events to get active with/

On the 'winning' side: in a nutshell - what should be a happy and supportive phase helping my high school son sort through and visit colleges, apply for scholarships, and all that goes along with that has morphed into a sad and frustrating experience. I AM GLAD to be able to be present for this, he doesn't want to put much into any of it. I am sure some of this is fear, some of it immaturity. He thinks he will breeze into college based on his grades. Unfortunately he is weak in life outside of school. This has been very difficult for me, and I'm trying not to get anxious. So my take away? DON'T CARE so much about what happens to him. NOT particularly a happy ending.

Ditto on him getting a summer job. Am trying to help, he isn't exactly motivated. We don't give him bucks. If he needs tennis shoes or shirts, yes, we buy that. The video game console is being turned off by summer vacation, as is the dish TV. Will he get out there and take charge of his life a little? I am trying not to get bent out of shape on this one too.

How many bad things is that so far?

Let me add: the big struggle with my daughter over high school gym choice, the little struggle with my daughter over repeatedly poor laundry/tidiness/chore duties, her continued choice of doing things at the last hour instead of smarter time management. Aggravation is me. Huge.

So lucky for you I have run out of time to elaborate!!

Except if we visit Portland, what do you suggest to see/do? We already plan to ride bikes around most every day that it is not raining.

Thx...

8 Responses to “Score: Good Things 4, Bad Things 5 and what to do in Portland?”

  1. mamasita Says:

    I know nothing of Portland but I can commiserate with you on the teen issues. Consequences alter behavior, so maybe if your son misses an important deadline for a college he wants he will put more effort into the school process. Same with the summer job- with no cable or spending money he may decide he wants a summer job, after all!
    Great news on the art sales, and I am really impressed with your participation with the Sierra Club. I'm still looking for my passion...

  2. wife of the deacon Says:


    Oh, may I join in the commiseration of children working their way through the teen angst. From research I did in grad school, the "adolescent turmoil" is universal, found even in the pubescent Trobrianders of some Pacific Island. Doesn't help mitigate the reality of it. For me it is the reluctant 16 year old who doesn't want her license. She likes to drive with mom or dad, fulfilled the requirements to get the license, but is afraid. I get it, fine, but she has to do it sooner or later, and it would be oh-so-more-convenient-for-me (as I return to school) if she were able to drive her siblings and self to activities ... *sigh*

  3. pretty cheap jewelry Says:

    Ah words to comfort my soul. Thank you thank you ladies. Trying to keep it all in perspective, even a little drop of lightheartedness if I can.

  4. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I know I don't have any children, but I do think I can offer some possibly good advice. (take it with a grain of salt of course.)

    You know how you have trained your children. They know your values and what is important to you. They're now at a stage where they are trying out their own wings a bit. While they're still at home, they have a safe place to do this - and have you to come to when the landing is a bit rough. The more you push your viewpoint at this juncture, the more likely they are to push back against it. Maybe, if you give a bit of a loose structure, allow them to fall, go to school not entirely clean, etc., they'll learn the consequences quickly enough. It probably would be hard at first to do this, but I think it might in the end help relieve a bit of stress on your part.

    I really hope I'm not coming off as a know it all. My thoughts are coming from how I know I reacted to the way my mom treated me when I was a teen. She pushed her point of view on me so hard as far as dress/makeup/etc. that I totally rebelled and became the exact opposite - something which has become part of who I am. (She is a snazzy dresser, hair and makeup done to the extremes at all times, etc., etc. I'm the exact opposite - could care less about fashion, and spend as little time on hair as possible and rarely wear makeup.)

  5. scfr Says:

    Re Portland, it depends on time of year, your interests, and if you want to stay in city or are willing to venture out of town a bit. I love nothing more than a drive along the Columbia River Gorge to Multnomah Falls. In-city hiking at Forest Park is really nice. Portland has some super gardens (Chinese, Japanese, Rose). On my last visit to Portland I went to the Japanese American Historical Plaza which for me was beautiful and incredibly moving ... but for some it may be of no interest.

  6. curious Says:

    Powell's books! The weekend markets (two -- farmers and art/goods). The gondola sky tram at OHSU (my son calls it the bubble). Walk along the river. OMSI (science museum).

  7. wowitsawonderfullife Says:

    OMG, thank you for this post. I am going through the same thing with my 17 year old son. Why am I tracking deadlines for scholarships, and even writing some of them up? OK, I'll follow your lead and step away from the teenager...

  8. pretty cheap jewelry Says:

    Love you all!! Not at all preachy FT, instead of appearances it's a 'disciplined' vs 'easy going' struggle for me and my daughter. WHY do I think I am so right?! I promise you blog family to let her be HERSELF. That includes the amazing creative top notch smart high achieving parts along with the last hour stop and smell the roses don't take no for an answer parts. WHEW.

    And Portland markets, city hikes are getting on the To Do THX

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