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Non Money Related Stress

October 20th, 2010 at 09:17 am

Would lack of money make my many other (small) daily stresses seem insignificant? Maybe it is like taking good health for granted. Suddenly losing it changes a person's perspective in a big way. Until, of course, (if) the good health returns and complacency again sets in for a long run.

I am fortunate by design not to have major money issues. It has been through a combination of very hard work (obtaining a college degree, specialized training and such), foresight (saving and spending appropriately) to enjoy the situation.

But I am still stressed plenty. Is it just a personality trait? Or is this common?

Time Undisciplined Kid #1
I agree that a kid should largely be allowed to be themself. The parent cannot impose their own hopes and dreams on a kid. And our ultimate job is to see an independent, happy adult sometime very soon after high school graduation.

One of mine is a more creative thinker. Translation: live for the moment, do assignments somewhat late in the game, 'forget' to put away things. How to infuse a sense of work discipline in a kid who has a different way of organizing their world. Frown

Example: After a fiasco last week in completing an assignment at the last minute, this kid has been better at tackling another large assignment in steps (the teacher gave them a fairly clear schedule of what big steps to do and when). But already there have been excuses and delays in finishing the second step.

Just getting that kid to do the school work, have a healthy dinner, and take a shower was a major struggle last night. In fact, we delayed the shower until morning. But that was another problem, as this kid is so NOT a morning person.

So unfortunately, a little morning scene resulted in taking away the after school dance class. Frown

Another example: This kid has an obligation to save about $100 for a spring trip. The parents will pay another $100 and the sponsoring organization will pay the last $100. So it is a very equitable arrangement, and the kids are wholly on board. The program started a couple months ago.

Mine can earn a $5 allowance weekly for doing a list of 5 chores. It would take about 20 weeks - about 5 months - to earn the $100. Here comes November and the trip is around May. Do the math. Or maybe I should point this out to the kid.

But remember the paragraph above about it being nearly all it takes just to get the homework, dinner, and shower done? Well never mind the chores. They fall by the wayside. No, there is NOT too much homework. No there are NOT too much chores. This kid has an undeveloped sense of budgeting time.

Should I mention the constant little things left not put away? Especially hair barrettes on the floor (I threw away two this morning, goodbye money), pencils, markers, papers. I am starting just to throw them away and usually have to get stern, ie not a happy voice, to get her to move on this issue many days of the week.

It is rather complicating that I am such a neatnik and perhaps overly disciplined person. Yet I put that aside a little more as time goes on.

Am I expecting too much from a 10 y.o.? It is taking a toll on me.

Moody Kid #2
Let this be written up later. I am tired enough!

Lousy Craft Show Weekend
Another post to make later. So trying to learn from the experience and move up and on. But I need a bit more time to shake off the blues.

Let me leave with at least a good and inexpensive thought --



"Embossed" needlework bringing the future back to the present. Order here.

3 Responses to “Non Money Related Stress”

  1. creditcardfree Says:

    My 10 year old may not quite be like yours, but does not budget time well either. Her sister does and did at that age. My 10 year old seems to get lost in her own little world while doing basic tasks. It has gotten better over the years, but it still takes effort on my part. Ugh! Let me just say I hear you. I don't think it is all kids, just some of them. I'm sure you are doing your best. Try to relax a little. Their mistakes (turning in homework late, ect) are their life lessons, they chose whether to learn from them or not. We all do!

  2. MonkeyMama Says:

    Agreed with ccfree. I just wanted to add that I don't think that you expect too much. I think it's good to set high expectations and a good example. Kids don't *get* it all until they are much older (adults, even). So, even if it feels futile at times, it probably isn't in the long run.

    & then there is the teenage (& pre-teen) hormones to contend with - mood swings and kids who want to sleep all day. Those teen years are just rough. (& I am relieved not to have girls to deal with, when I think of my own teenage years!)

  3. Homebody Says:

    Just talking with OD's bff about her 8-year-old daughter yesterday and how she doesn't seem to care about school work. She is very frustrated as she was valdevectorian (sp?) of her class. I didn't know what to say. So you are not alone!

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